I (29f) have been good friends with “Sally” (30f) since we were 8 years old. We were inseparable throughout school, but we went to different colleges. I visited her a few times each year, she’d visit me, and we’d always meet up at Christmas and summer breaks. After we graduated I moved about a 3 hour drive from where she moved to. We still caught up often.
As normally happens, we established our new professional and social lives, drifted apart, but whenever we caught up it was like no time had passed. We were there for each other whenever we needed it. When she got married at 25, I was a bridesmaid (I declined maid of honor because I was concerned with the long commute I couldn’t do all the MOH duties required/expected). She drove to my place to support me when my father had a stroke. I stayed with her when she found out her ex-husband cheated and she filed for divorce. I always figured that even though life is taking us in different directions, we’re always there for each other.
Now to her birthday. She turned 30 last week and had a huge party this past weekend. Since it was a milestone birthday, she had it at a banquet hall, all catered, DJ, etc. It was at night, so I booked a hotel, drove up, and would drive back home the next day. When I arrived, I was ushered into a small room with 4 tables and about 10 other people. There was a portable TV on a trolley with a stream of the party in the bigger room. One of the guests told me Sally invited more than the main hall could accommodate and she hoped after a few people RSVP’ed no, we’d all fit in. But only 1 or 2 people RSVP’ed no, so the venue opened a second room for the excess guests.
I saw in the stream new people arriving after I did, so I knew I was clearly relegated to the B-lister room and wasn’t brought there because the main room was already filled up.
So I left after 15 minutes and took my gift with me. The next day as I was preparing to check out of the hotel, Sally called and asked why I didn’t show. Apparently, she came to the leftovers room to mingle about 30 minutes after I left and noticed I wasn’t there. I told her I did attend, but I didn’t realize I’d be watching a stream of her party instead of attending it, which I could have done at home. She asked if I wanted to catch up for lunch and I can give her my gift then, but I told her I needed to get back home because I had plans for the afternoon.
Cue the instagram story about how people who claim to love her don’t show up and she can’t help that so many people wanted to celebrate her. During my drive home, her mother left a voicemail that she was very disappointed in me.
But I’m here like, “I’m supposed to be one of your best friends and I got the leftover experience.” Did I overreact? Am I the AH here?
